In life, we never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are
It is a hard pill to swallow when you finally come to the bitter realization that a person you once thought was in your corner was actually not supporting you at all. This disheartening situation happens all too often, and it can be incredibly difficult to understand what drives a person to take the actions they choose, especially when they clearly know what the right thing to do should be.
We often hold our friends to the same standards that we set for ourselves, yet in the process, we sometimes end up inadvertently letting our friends down. That is because each of us have our own unique needs, wants, and individual ways of processing our feelings and experiences. Moreover, the personal space we require can also differ greatly from one person to another. So instead of relying solely on the traditional golden rule, which advises us to “treat others as you want to be treated,” perhaps we should lean toward the more empathetic approach of “treat others how they want to be treated.” One fundamental truth I believe resonates with all of us though, is that we genuinely desire to feel loved and appreciated. We all want to know that someone else cares about us and is thinking of us in meaningful ways.
So this leads me directly to my point. It's one thing to be let down by someone you care about, but it is an entirely different matter when you experience the sting of betrayal. In my humble opinion, the latter is not only more painful but feels very intentional and deliberate in nature.
Holding someone else’s deeply personal secret, listening attentively as they confide in you, and being there for them when they need emotional support is a significant responsibility that all of us need to take seriously. Who can you truly trust if you cannot even rely on your dearest confidant or best friend?
This incredibly painful question is one that I struggle with on a daily basis. Trust, as I have learned, is something that is very hard to give to another person. For some people, it is damn near impossible to give another their trust. I find myself being part of the latter group. My friend, who I once considered one of my best, betrayed me in a way that I simply cannot overlook or easily forgive. During a particularly challenging and difficult time in my life, they shockingly chose to share my personal secrets, spoke badly about me behind my back, and allowed me to walk straight into what could have been an extremely dangerous and harmful situation. I can only assume that their intentions were malicious because it feels as though they genuinely wanted me to get hurt. Up until that point, my friend and I never had any problems, no disagreements, no significant differences of opinion that would warrant such betrayal. This has left me feeling utterly confused and betrayed. While I have my assumptions about their motives and reasons, I understand that I will never fully know the whole truth behind their actions. If I am being completely honest, I am not sure I could handle the entire truth if it were laid bare before me.
How do you truly overcome such a deep sense of betrayal? I suppose, much like any break-up, it requires a combination of time and support from others who care about you. What a truly scary concept that is! I find myself questioning who I can trust anymore in this world. You see, I reached out for support from them during a particularly challenging time, seeking solace and advice, never once imagining they would end up causing me so much pain and heartache.
CL
